So my laparscopy was going to be in August, then I received a call that the doctor was booked that day, so it was to be September 21. Yesterday I received a call saying I have been bumped to October 5. My daughter will be a year old before I even begin to get some kind of diagnosis on what went wrong when she was born.
I don't think I can make it to October 5.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
YWG
Being married to a pilot I have learned two things, I have to sleep alone at some point almost every week and my husband no longer speaks English, but rather sounds like an eye chart when he talks. So for those of you who don't know, YWG is the airport code for Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.
I was in Winnipeg recently for a teachers course at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School. I was given a heads up by a friend that your rear end gets sore from sitting, as most of the course is observation. This was true to some extent. On the first day I explained my situation to the Pilates teacher and she was wonderful at modifying the exercises for me. I did not have the nerve however to explain my situation to the head of the school yet though. While in her class that afternoon, I took part in a basic barre routine. BIG mistake! Just a few minutes and my pain was made much worse.
Day 3 of the course found me not at the school but at Emergency in a nearby hospital.
The process was much more quick and pleasant than I had anticipated. They ran a urine test and blood work but basically said there was nothing they could do for me since I would not be in town long enough. So doped up on Atasol 30's with my prescription in hand, I made my way to the drugstore and back to the hotel for the rest of the day.
I had an appointment with my doctor last week. I am on the list for laparoscopy. Hopefully next week! I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring to tell me my appointment time. She did say that there is still a possibility that they may look inside and see nothing. At which point I replied, "Then admit me to the psych ward! Everyone already thinks I'm crazy, this will confirm it!" However, she was very good to follow up with the idea that if nothing is found, we will try other avenues.
Thanks for not dismissing me, Doc. It means a lot!
I was in Winnipeg recently for a teachers course at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School. I was given a heads up by a friend that your rear end gets sore from sitting, as most of the course is observation. This was true to some extent. On the first day I explained my situation to the Pilates teacher and she was wonderful at modifying the exercises for me. I did not have the nerve however to explain my situation to the head of the school yet though. While in her class that afternoon, I took part in a basic barre routine. BIG mistake! Just a few minutes and my pain was made much worse.
Day 3 of the course found me not at the school but at Emergency in a nearby hospital.
The process was much more quick and pleasant than I had anticipated. They ran a urine test and blood work but basically said there was nothing they could do for me since I would not be in town long enough. So doped up on Atasol 30's with my prescription in hand, I made my way to the drugstore and back to the hotel for the rest of the day.
I had an appointment with my doctor last week. I am on the list for laparoscopy. Hopefully next week! I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring to tell me my appointment time. She did say that there is still a possibility that they may look inside and see nothing. At which point I replied, "Then admit me to the psych ward! Everyone already thinks I'm crazy, this will confirm it!" However, she was very good to follow up with the idea that if nothing is found, we will try other avenues.
Thanks for not dismissing me, Doc. It means a lot!
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Pill
So, thinking about my monetary situation, or rather, lack thereof, I am trying the pill first. It's been eight days now and so far no luck. I am still in tremendous pain and now I also have bad skin too! If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm ovulating. After nine months, I feel as though my incision is still going to burst open. Is that even possible?
Sigh. When do I get my life back?
A colleague of my husband who is an MD, suggested the only real way to sort the problem is to have a laparoscopy. He also suggested, that for legal reasons, I'm best off having the MRI done in Canada and not the US. He said if I want to go that route, he can get me one within a week in Toronto for less than $1000. Ouch! Now that hurts!
Baby Girl is growing and thriving! She is very mobile and without a doubt will be walking soon! It's so hard to keep up with her. I want to run around with her, take her for walks in her stroller, play around on the floor with her. It just hurts too much. But her smile can always make me feel better. She's like Christmas morning every day!
Sigh. When do I get my life back?
A colleague of my husband who is an MD, suggested the only real way to sort the problem is to have a laparoscopy. He also suggested, that for legal reasons, I'm best off having the MRI done in Canada and not the US. He said if I want to go that route, he can get me one within a week in Toronto for less than $1000. Ouch! Now that hurts!
Baby Girl is growing and thriving! She is very mobile and without a doubt will be walking soon! It's so hard to keep up with her. I want to run around with her, take her for walks in her stroller, play around on the floor with her. It just hurts too much. But her smile can always make me feel better. She's like Christmas morning every day!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Surprise!
Well, I just came from my doctor's appointment. I was armed with websites of information I had found about endometriosis from cesarean, along with the web address of this blog and the address of an MRI clinic in the US.
I really like this doctor and she has a good bedside manner, but it was hard to get the courage to discuss the information with her. Many doctors do not appreciate outside research or people giving them their opinions. Fair enough. I hate when people tell me how to do my job, but in this case I'm not so much telling her how, just look at this info, could this be my problem. Other doctors like when patients educate themselves. I didn't know which way this was going to go. I have taught many doctors over the years and they are the hardest people to teach! They know it all, even if it's not in their field of education!
Just before she entered the room, my insides decided enough was enough! By the time she came into the office to see me, I was writhing in pain and reduced to tears. She did examine me again. Not much to feel though apparantly. She did agree that it could be an endometrial problem and suggested birth control pills as a way to supress ovulation.
Then I got the nerve to show her my info and discuss my thoughts. When I asked if an MRI might be helpful, she said possibly, but it will take some time to get an appointment. When I followed up with the fact that I was ready, willing and able to travel south of the border and pay for it out of my own pocket, she seemed quite surprised! Yes Ma'am, I am willing to do this because the pain you see me in now has been my life for the past 8 months! So she did take my sheet of websites, blog address and MRI clinic info. (Hi Doc if you're reading this!) then said she would see how long it would be to get me an MRI here and would go from there. I have the birth control pills now. Going to wait until I hear back before I take them.
The thing I have learned during this entire ordeal, is that you have to be your own advocate in your healthcare. I have great doctors, but they have so many patients, I am just a blip on their radar. They don't have the time to do the research. I heard her secretary say to a patient today, that the doctor was triple booked all next week! That's crazy! We really need more doctors and nurses in this province, but that's a whole different conversation again! Plus, I'm not in the mood to talk about "our Danny" anymore either! He gets too much press as it is!
So now I wait.......
I really like this doctor and she has a good bedside manner, but it was hard to get the courage to discuss the information with her. Many doctors do not appreciate outside research or people giving them their opinions. Fair enough. I hate when people tell me how to do my job, but in this case I'm not so much telling her how, just look at this info, could this be my problem. Other doctors like when patients educate themselves. I didn't know which way this was going to go. I have taught many doctors over the years and they are the hardest people to teach! They know it all, even if it's not in their field of education!
Just before she entered the room, my insides decided enough was enough! By the time she came into the office to see me, I was writhing in pain and reduced to tears. She did examine me again. Not much to feel though apparantly. She did agree that it could be an endometrial problem and suggested birth control pills as a way to supress ovulation.
Then I got the nerve to show her my info and discuss my thoughts. When I asked if an MRI might be helpful, she said possibly, but it will take some time to get an appointment. When I followed up with the fact that I was ready, willing and able to travel south of the border and pay for it out of my own pocket, she seemed quite surprised! Yes Ma'am, I am willing to do this because the pain you see me in now has been my life for the past 8 months! So she did take my sheet of websites, blog address and MRI clinic info. (Hi Doc if you're reading this!) then said she would see how long it would be to get me an MRI here and would go from there. I have the birth control pills now. Going to wait until I hear back before I take them.
The thing I have learned during this entire ordeal, is that you have to be your own advocate in your healthcare. I have great doctors, but they have so many patients, I am just a blip on their radar. They don't have the time to do the research. I heard her secretary say to a patient today, that the doctor was triple booked all next week! That's crazy! We really need more doctors and nurses in this province, but that's a whole different conversation again! Plus, I'm not in the mood to talk about "our Danny" anymore either! He gets too much press as it is!
So now I wait.......
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
On pins and needles
My next appointment with my doctor is tomorrow morning. I have my literature ready to present to her. I really think I may be dealing with endometriosis from the surgery. From my research, it is more common than thought, but often only diagnosed in 1 - 5 patients out of 1000! No wonder my doctor said she was baffled and has never seen a case like mine before. She is a young doctor and not every birth is cesarean, so she probably hasn't seen this before. Apparantly, she's not the only one.
I have read the stories of other women going through exactly the same thing as me. Same symptoms, same negative test results, and same opinions from doctors. Many aren't diagnosed until many years later. I really hope I'm not years sorting this out. I will lose my mind! I am going to ask her for a requisition for an MRI as well. Perhaps that will show something. I will have to shell out the money and get it done in the US though. (If it's good enough for "our Danny" it's good enough for me!)
I wonder if he will let me stay in his Florida condo?
I have read the stories of other women going through exactly the same thing as me. Same symptoms, same negative test results, and same opinions from doctors. Many aren't diagnosed until many years later. I really hope I'm not years sorting this out. I will lose my mind! I am going to ask her for a requisition for an MRI as well. Perhaps that will show something. I will have to shell out the money and get it done in the US though. (If it's good enough for "our Danny" it's good enough for me!)
I wonder if he will let me stay in his Florida condo?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Symptoms, symptoms and more symptoms!
So, you may be wondering what exactly is it that's bothering me so much. Good question! Here is a list of my daily life.
~PAIN! On a scale from 1 to 10, I'm usually hovering at the 8 or 9 mark. Some days, (especially during ovulation and my period) I'm a 15 and literally cannot stand, sit or walk.
~Burning and tearing sensation on the inside of my incision.
~Strong, abdominal contractions that I have no control over.
~Hot flashes. Extreme sweating in my chest area. I can literally cup my hands below my breastbone and the sweat will pool there.
~Thirst. Perhaps from all the loss of water through sweating?
~Pain when voiding my bladder or bowels. A deep pain in the groin area.
~Swelling of my abdomen. I look very pregnant!
~Nausea.
~Tender stomach. To the point I sometimes cannot even have clothes on, it hurts so much.
~Lack of mobility. Use of my abdominal muscles is painful. Do you have any idea how much you use your abs for without even realizing it? It's crazy!
~Impact on relationships. With my husband (will we even be able to have another child?) and daughter (I just want to roll on the floor and play with her and take her for walks in her stroller).
~Depressed mood. All this pain and not being able to live a normal life will get you down after awhile. Especially when doctors make you feel it's all in your head. You begin to think you're going crazy. (If it's all in my head, how do I imagine swelling?)
Making a profile of all these symptoms has lead me to believe in a couple of possibilities.
Adhesions from the surgery and/or endometriosis from the surgery.
I will tackle these one at a time later. Right now, it's time to deal with my pain. Somehow.
~PAIN! On a scale from 1 to 10, I'm usually hovering at the 8 or 9 mark. Some days, (especially during ovulation and my period) I'm a 15 and literally cannot stand, sit or walk.
~Burning and tearing sensation on the inside of my incision.
~Strong, abdominal contractions that I have no control over.
~Hot flashes. Extreme sweating in my chest area. I can literally cup my hands below my breastbone and the sweat will pool there.
~Thirst. Perhaps from all the loss of water through sweating?
~Pain when voiding my bladder or bowels. A deep pain in the groin area.
~Swelling of my abdomen. I look very pregnant!
~Nausea.
~Tender stomach. To the point I sometimes cannot even have clothes on, it hurts so much.
~Lack of mobility. Use of my abdominal muscles is painful. Do you have any idea how much you use your abs for without even realizing it? It's crazy!
~Impact on relationships. With my husband (will we even be able to have another child?) and daughter (I just want to roll on the floor and play with her and take her for walks in her stroller).
~Depressed mood. All this pain and not being able to live a normal life will get you down after awhile. Especially when doctors make you feel it's all in your head. You begin to think you're going crazy. (If it's all in my head, how do I imagine swelling?)
Making a profile of all these symptoms has lead me to believe in a couple of possibilities.
Adhesions from the surgery and/or endometriosis from the surgery.
I will tackle these one at a time later. Right now, it's time to deal with my pain. Somehow.
I can't tell you anything different...
So my day finally arrived! My office appointment with the doctor who performed my operation. I really like this doctor. She happened to be covering my doctor's patients in her absence. The nurses said she was a triple threat! A good doctor, very good person and beautiful too! I was only interested in the first of the three, really, but it is easier when your doctor is a nice person. (I'm all about the bedside manner!)
So I see her and dissolve into tears quite quickly. She is still perplexed as to why I am still having pain. She says she has never seen this before, and can't really say anything that the other doctors haven't already said. My worst fear came out of her mouth, "I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you either." I then realized how much of a pedestal I had placed this woman on. Why did I think I could just go to her office and she would magically cure me? After all, she did examine and treat me in the hospital and had no answers then either. Why did I think that would change just because I called her office and got an appointment? However, she does examine me (something I had to beg other doctors to do) and suggests several options to rule out. Could it be gastrointestinal? Perhaps see a pain specialist.
Over the course of the next three months I began to eliminate other possibilities.
It's not gastro. I was treated for irritable bowel syndrome and had a barium enema. (THAT was tons of fun!)
Not an infection. I went through yet another round of antibiotics.
I am now on my third medication for nerve pain. Which she said could take up to three months to notice any difference. It's been that long now, and nothing.
My doctor's plan was to rule everything else out before having to go inside via any kind of incision. I agree with that. Since the first one has been so difficult to get over, more would probably make it worse.
At the end of all this discussion, she agreed to see me again in six months.
I will be seeing her again the beginning of June. After only three months.
So I see her and dissolve into tears quite quickly. She is still perplexed as to why I am still having pain. She says she has never seen this before, and can't really say anything that the other doctors haven't already said. My worst fear came out of her mouth, "I'm afraid I don't have any answers for you either." I then realized how much of a pedestal I had placed this woman on. Why did I think I could just go to her office and she would magically cure me? After all, she did examine and treat me in the hospital and had no answers then either. Why did I think that would change just because I called her office and got an appointment? However, she does examine me (something I had to beg other doctors to do) and suggests several options to rule out. Could it be gastrointestinal? Perhaps see a pain specialist.
Over the course of the next three months I began to eliminate other possibilities.
It's not gastro. I was treated for irritable bowel syndrome and had a barium enema. (THAT was tons of fun!)
Not an infection. I went through yet another round of antibiotics.
I am now on my third medication for nerve pain. Which she said could take up to three months to notice any difference. It's been that long now, and nothing.
My doctor's plan was to rule everything else out before having to go inside via any kind of incision. I agree with that. Since the first one has been so difficult to get over, more would probably make it worse.
At the end of all this discussion, she agreed to see me again in six months.
I will be seeing her again the beginning of June. After only three months.
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