Baby #2

So just as I had suspected, I was pregnant and PAIN FREE!!!! It was good! I was already in with Dr. X so he just followed me through my pregnancy and we set a section date. On November 9, 2012 we welcomed our baby boy into the world! We couldn't be happier! After the surgery, it seems my uterus has the consistency of "papar mache" according to the doctor. Each time they went to stitch me up, it fell apart. That explains the massive hematoma I had on my abdomen. (5 months later and the bruising is still there!) My hemoglobin dropped as well. A lot. But I eventually got back to normal, somewhat. I was happy that my recovery was going so much better than the first time! Then my period returned. Sweet merciful crap!!!! I have never bled like that in my life! I couldn't move for the pain. I had to get my mother to take care of my kids because hubby was away at work and I was completely incapacitated. I'm sure if you took my bloodwork, my hemoglobin would be down in the basement again. Nauseated, dizzy and unable to keep a single thought straight in my head were just a few more awful symptoms I had with my period. I went to see Dr. X right away. He put me on birth control and I return to see him in 3 months. I did one month of the Nuvaring that he prescribed. My skin does not like it. Nor do I. My period was just as bad, plus now I had side effects from the damn hormones! Month two, the ring lasted a week. It wouldn't fit properly and it was killing me. I just took it out and I'm waiting to see him again. A month and a half to go. Originally I was going to just say "hysterectomy". Get it out and over with. But another major surgery does not appeal to me. Then I heard a radio interview with a woman in a similar situation as me. The difference being, she suffered from uterine fibroids, and well, I don't have a diagnosis yet, but I really think I have endometriosis. (According to my symptoms, I'm textbook.) So this woman on the radio, Holly Bridges, wrote a book called "The UNHysterectomy".(You can find her on Facebook) It's her account of her story as well as a lot of research into women's options and our Canadian health care system. Hysterectomy is the #2 over-prescribed surgery for women. Second to Cesarean Section. Now let me be clear, my doctor, Dr. X, did not advise me to have a hysterectomy. I just figured it was my only option for pain management and sanity. Holly's book has proven otherwise. Now I look forward to my next appointment at the end of May and I will have book and questions in hand. Wish me luck!

AT LAST!

So it has taken me 3 years to get back into my blogger account! Finally I'm here again! Now to catch up. Let's try to do the Reader's Digest condensed version. I had my laparoscopy in October 2010. When the doctor woke me after, she said she didn't find anything. I began to sob. I heard a nurse say to someone, "She's crying" Then she tried to reassure me that everything was fine. But it wasn't. If the doctor didn't find anything, what was wrong? I was starting to believe the other doctor's that it was all in my head. I spiralled into a depression. I did seek help, but this just wasn't fair. I wanted to enjoy my life and my beautiful daughter. What I had thought would be a 6 or 8 week hiatus from work turned out to be 14 months. And when I did return, it was for 4 hours a week. By July 2011, I was in so much pain and frustration, I went to a walk-in clinic. The doctor listened to me and tried to refer me to many of the doctor's I had already seen. Then she said she would write a letter to another OB/GYN. We'll call him Dr. X. I received a letter later in the year saying I had an appointment with Dr. X in December. I really didn't hold much hope. I figured he would just say the same things to me. December came. My husband accompanied me to the appointment. Dr. X was phenomenal! He gave me a thorough examination and right away told me I needed physiotherapy. (He seemed to privately question my laparoscopy report when he read it on his computer. I'm still curious about that!) Anyway, I went to physio and the therapist was amazing! Turns out, the right side of my pelvis was dropped and inwardly rotated over an inch! So my muscles were in spasm for years! Then every time I had my period and things relaxed, they had to work even harder. So, I was going to physio every week. I followed up with the doctor about the pain associated with my cycle. He said we will go in and take a look. Laparoscopy #2! I was booked for my surgery on March 16, 2012. For those of you keeping track, my daughter was now 2 and 1/2 years old. I had a head cold that week, so when I went to the hospital on March 14 for my pre-admission testing, the nurse said more than likely my surgery would be cancelled on account of my being sick. However, the anesthesiologist said he would do a chest x-ray. If it was clear, I could go ahead with the procedure. Countless hours of bloodwork, urine samples and a chest x-ray later, I was in the clear! I arrived home, anxious because I had company coming for supper and nothing yet prepared, when the phone rang. it was the nurse from the hospital. "You're cancelled." NOOOOOO!!!! I calmly asked "Why? My chest x-ray was clear." To which she replied, "You're pregnant."

And I wait

So my laparscopy was going to be in August, then I received a call that the doctor was booked that day, so it was to be September 21. Yesterday I received a call saying I have been bumped to October 5. My daughter will be a year old before I even begin to get some kind of diagnosis on what went wrong when she was born.

I don't think I can make it to October 5.

YWG

Being married to a pilot I have learned two things, I have to sleep alone at some point almost every week and my husband no longer speaks English, but rather sounds like an eye chart when he talks. So for those of you who don't know, YWG is the airport code for Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada.

I was in Winnipeg recently for a teachers course at the Royal Winnipeg Ballet School. I was given a heads up by a friend that your rear end gets sore from sitting, as most of the course is observation. This was true to some extent. On the first day I explained my situation to the Pilates teacher and she was wonderful at modifying the exercises for me. I did not have the nerve however to explain my situation to the head of the school yet though. While in her class that afternoon, I took part in a basic barre routine. BIG mistake! Just a few minutes and my pain was made much worse.
Day 3 of the course found me not at the school but at Emergency in a nearby hospital.
The process was much more quick and pleasant than I had anticipated. They ran a urine test and blood work but basically said there was nothing they could do for me since I would not be in town long enough. So doped up on Atasol 30's with my prescription in hand, I made my way to the drugstore and back to the hotel for the rest of the day.

I had an appointment with my doctor last week. I am on the list for laparoscopy. Hopefully next week! I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting for the phone to ring to tell me my appointment time. She did say that there is still a possibility that they may look inside and see nothing. At which point I replied, "Then admit me to the psych ward! Everyone already thinks I'm crazy, this will confirm it!" However, she was very good to follow up with the idea that if nothing is found, we will try other avenues.
Thanks for not dismissing me, Doc. It means a lot!

The Pill

So, thinking about my monetary situation, or rather, lack thereof, I am trying the pill first. It's been eight days now and so far no luck. I am still in tremendous pain and now I also have bad skin too! If I didn't know any better, I would say I'm ovulating. After nine months, I feel as though my incision is still going to burst open. Is that even possible?
Sigh. When do I get my life back?
A colleague of my husband who is an MD, suggested the only real way to sort the problem is to have a laparoscopy. He also suggested, that for legal reasons, I'm best off having the MRI done in Canada and not the US. He said if I want to go that route, he can get me one within a week in Toronto for less than $1000. Ouch! Now that hurts!

Baby Girl is growing and thriving! She is very mobile and without a doubt will be walking soon! It's so hard to keep up with her. I want to run around with her, take her for walks in her stroller, play around on the floor with her. It just hurts too much. But her smile can always make me feel better. She's like Christmas morning every day!

Surprise!

Well, I just came from my doctor's appointment. I was armed with websites of information I had found about endometriosis from cesarean, along with the web address of this blog and the address of an MRI clinic in the US.
I really like this doctor and she has a good bedside manner, but it was hard to get the courage to discuss the information with her. Many doctors do not appreciate outside research or people giving them their opinions. Fair enough. I hate when people tell me how to do my job, but in this case I'm not so much telling her how, just look at this info, could this be my problem. Other doctors like when patients educate themselves. I didn't know which way this was going to go. I have taught many doctors over the years and they are the hardest people to teach! They know it all, even if it's not in their field of education!
Just before she entered the room, my insides decided enough was enough! By the time she came into the office to see me, I was writhing in pain and reduced to tears. She did examine me again. Not much to feel though apparantly. She did agree that it could be an endometrial problem and suggested birth control pills as a way to supress ovulation.
Then I got the nerve to show her my info and discuss my thoughts. When I asked if an MRI might be helpful, she said possibly, but it will take some time to get an appointment. When I followed up with the fact that I was ready, willing and able to travel south of the border and pay for it out of my own pocket, she seemed quite surprised! Yes Ma'am, I am willing to do this because the pain you see me in now has been my life for the past 8 months! So she did take my sheet of websites, blog address and MRI clinic info. (Hi Doc if you're reading this!) then said she would see how long it would be to get me an MRI here and would go from there. I have the birth control pills now. Going to wait until I hear back before I take them.

The thing I have learned during this entire ordeal, is that you have to be your own advocate in your healthcare. I have great doctors, but they have so many patients, I am just a blip on their radar. They don't have the time to do the research. I heard her secretary say to a patient today, that the doctor was triple booked all next week! That's crazy! We really need more doctors and nurses in this province, but that's a whole different conversation again! Plus, I'm not in the mood to talk about "our Danny" anymore either! He gets too much press as it is!

So now I wait.......

On pins and needles

My next appointment with my doctor is tomorrow morning. I have my literature ready to present to her. I really think I may be dealing with endometriosis from the surgery. From my research, it is more common than thought, but often only diagnosed in 1 - 5 patients out of 1000! No wonder my doctor said she was baffled and has never seen a case like mine before. She is a young doctor and not every birth is cesarean, so she probably hasn't seen this before. Apparantly, she's not the only one.
I have read the stories of other women going through exactly the same thing as me. Same symptoms, same negative test results, and same opinions from doctors. Many aren't diagnosed until many years later. I really hope I'm not years sorting this out. I will lose my mind! I am going to ask her for a requisition for an MRI as well. Perhaps that will show something. I will have to shell out the money and get it done in the US though. (If it's good enough for "our Danny" it's good enough for me!)
I wonder if he will let me stay in his Florida condo?